Community for Mothers

Women Who Have Experienced Birth Trauma,

Hello and welcome to the Solace for Mothers Online Community for Healing Birth Trauma for women who have experienced birth trauma. The creators of our discussion board would like you to know that you are not alone. Other women have felt traumatized, deeply disappointed, or even violated by their birth experiences. Birth trauma is very real. We are here to offer you an online meeting place to share and connect with other women who have had similar experiences, and a place for you to begin your healing journey.

Birth trauma comes in many forms: a cesarean birth, a vaginal birth, a medically-complicated birth, or a very straightforward birth. Birth trauma can happen to a mother who has a healthy baby, a sick baby, or sadly, a mother whose baby died. Some women have moved past childhood abuse, only to have symptoms appear again following childbirth. Some women feel that they were manipulated into care choices that they now regret. Some women feel mistreated by their providers. Some women have even used the word “rape” to describe their births. Whatever the circumstances of your experience, you are welcome here to post in our forum.

It is our hope that women will eventually find some healing and be able to move forward from their trauma. Healing can be a very challenging road, so we include some resources for this process within the discussion board. This board also recognizes and allows for the entire range of emotions that accompany the healing process for birth trauma. Women may be feeling very different emotions at different times – or all at the same time!—and we encourage everyone who uses this board to be encouraging, helpful and to accept other people where they are. We will keep this space safe by being supportive without judgment.

Our discussion board is a private board. You will need to register in order to read comments left here. We hope that this measure reassures you that we understand that these issues are very personal and private, and we will take every measure to keep your posts private. Please consider this extra step to be your first step in healing. Feel free to register and then just read, if that is all you wish to do at this time.

Also, be aware that the information contained in this discussion board could possibly be triggering to some women. For example, some women will not be able to read any birth stories for quite some time, and others will want to read every single post. Every woman is individual in this regard and you must protect yourself by only reading what you are sure you can handle at this time.

We welcome you and value you in our online community.

Jenne Alderks and Jennifer Zimmerman, creators and moderators of the discussion board
supported by Sharon Storton and the Solace for Mothers team

Please read and acknowledge our member agreement below and you will be directed to our online forum. Once you sign the agreement and click on “submit”, scroll back down to the bottom of this page where the link to the forum will be displayed. Please save that link to your favorites so you can bypass this step in the future.

Online Community Membership Agreement

  • Please help keep our community safe. Each member is entitled to her privacy and can refrain from sharing any personally identifying information. The moderators of The Solace for Mothers Online Community strive to protect its members by requiring that new users register before viewing or posting here. Posting in the community discussion board indicates that members agree to comply with the rules posted here in the Member Agreement.

    Community Members are respectful. Any defamatory, adversarial, baiting, harassing, offensive, insultingly sarcastic, or otherwise improper language, toward a member of the community is not allowed. Moderators are active participants and will provide warnings to members who violate this rule. If violations continue, the moderators have the right to ban and remove participants from the community. If you feel you are being attacked, harassed, or disrespected by another member of the community, please contact a moderator.

    The purpose of The Solace For Mothers Online Community is for members to share their hurts and their healing with each other, members are to remain mindful of the fact that different women make many different types of birth choices for themselves based on current knowledge, facts, or intuitions about their individual situation. It is not acceptable to criticize women’s past or future birth choices, unless the poster is asking specifically for this type of support.

    Community Members support their fellow members on their healing journeys. The process of overcoming a traumatic birth is an unpredictable and individual one, often involving complicated and challenging emotions. Each member deserves the open, non-judgmental support and encouragement of others.

    Spamming will not be tolerated. Providing links to recommend care providers, therapists, doulas, and other practitioners in your area, or in response to inquiring posts, is acceptable and encouraged. However, do not use this board to promote or sell products or services in a systematic or unsolicited manner. Advertisements, recommendations and endorsements for products and services can be posted in the resource section one time only.

    Please report spammers who are inappropriately posting or advertising in the community to a moderator.

    A note on sharing sources: When posting resources, please include citing information (e.g. where the source was originally published, printed, etc) and full links when possible.

    A note on naming providers: The Solace For Mothers Online Community neither encourages nor bars its members from naming care providers or facilities. Members of the community may choose to state the names of their providers and facilities where the trauma occurred, but we ask that members remember to only speak truthfully and from their own experience so as to prevent defamation, liable and slander from occurring. To avoid defamation from occurring, refrain from personally attacking any provider. Members will want to individually weigh the risks of choosing to name a care provider or facility before doing so. If any member is currently, or has future plans to take legal action, please consult your attorney before naming anyone in an online forum. Be aware that naming names could open you up for harassment by the care provider or their supporters. Though we try to keep our community safe and private, we cannot fully protect our members in this regard. The Solace For Mothers Online Community does not accept responsibility for any legal, or social, ramifications of naming a care provider or facility, however, we respect women in their personal choices in this regard.

    Disclaimer: Content posted by members of the community contains the opinions and views of the people contributing and not the views of the owners and moderators.

    The Solace for Mothers Online Community is not responsible for and makes no warranties, express or implied, as to the user content or the accuracy and reliability of the user content posted on or through the Solace for Mothers Online Community. User Content does not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of the Solace for Mothers Online Community.

    User content may contain links to other websites and The Solace for Mothers Online Community is not responsible for the content, accuracy or opinions expressed on such websites, and such websites are not necessarily investigated, monitored or checked for accuracy or completeness by The Solace for Mothers Online Community.

    I agree to the member rules and wish to continue to the registration page. Please sign your name in the text box below to indicate you understand and intend to adhere to these guidelines. Note this is not a legally binding document, and is only meant to make people aware of their expected conduct before becoming a member of our community in order to keep it safe for all.